Life for me has been a wonderful journey - filled with so much joy, happiness, sadness, trials, tribulations and many, many blessings.
For whoever reads this I hope that in some way I will be able to lift you up, and give you a sense of happiness even if your journey is not where you want it to be. We all experience trials, it's how we take them on that truly helps us get through them. So as I share my lifes journey with you I hope you will enjoy yours too!
In the thirty years we have been married we have had great trials placed upon us but we always seem to have gotten through them. They have stregthened us and made us better people today.
Motherhood was one thing that I looked forward too. I wanted to be a mother and have many children - eight to be exact. I know that motherhood is one of the greatest gifts that God has given women and I was very anxious to be a mother.
We never prevented having children - they just didn't come to us very fast. The first time I found out I was expecting it was such a joy and such excitement. We were finally going to be parents. Not very long after finding out we lost our baby. This was very hard on us, and the feelings I had were undescribable. About two years later we found out I was expecting again. Oh how excited we were. We finally get to start our little family. This was an answer to our prayers. Everything was going great, I wasn't too sick, I felt pretty good, those wonderful feelings of being a parent, and wanting to start buying baby things, and reading books about how the baby grows, were all the things that we had anticpated for.
On July 10, 1984 I had my first doctor appointment - the doctors name was Dr. Green. I was three and half months pregnant, and we were so excited for this appointment. We knew we would probably get to hear the babies heart beat, find out the due date and all those wonderful things that take place that first visit. The doctor comes into the room, and visits with us for just a minute, then he tells me to turn around and pull my pants down a little so he could give me a shot - I just thought this was part of the routine. He injects the shot between my hip and bottom, and immediately I became sick. So sick I felt like I had to pass out. The doctor leaves the room, and said he would be back in just a minute. We get up and walk to the front desk and ask the receptionist why I am so sick, she went and asked the doctor - and he said I was to feel this way. My appointment was over and we went home. By the time we got home, I was cramping, and having the most excruiciating pain I had ever felt. Not to long after - I lost our little baby. I couldn't believe this was actually happening to us, our sweet little baby that we had longed for was now gone.
We called the doctors office and told them what had just took place, and they said oh just go ahead and bring the baby in - in a container. We were living in Idaho at the time, and so I called my doctor in Salt Lake City, and he asked me to get the name of the shot, which we did. The office of Dr. Green's gave it to us - I don't remember the name now but I called my doctor in Salt Lake back and he said that shot was to abort the baby. This crazy doctor in Idaho had got me confused with one of his other patients and he killed our baby.
This took place over 25 years ago but I can still remember the feelings I had. We were finally going to have a child of our own and the doctor made a horrible mistake. I was so mad, and so sad at the same time. I remember praying and asking for stregnth and help to get through this. I couldn't actually believe how cold the nurse and the doctor was after they had just made us lose our baby. We were so sad, and yet we felt so blessed at the same time, we had the knowledge of knowing that we would see this small little baby again one day. How great was our joy of knowing this, and knowing that the Lord is in charge of all things. We were no longer mad at the doctor, we felt more bad for him than anything.
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